The Portaloo in Waterloo – A Poem

Hey guys, as you might know, I lost the #MMPoetry 2013 tournament to the talented Kathy Ellen Davis. (View our matchup here.) She wrote a poem related to poo which knocked my poem out! But I was not the only one who lost to a poo poem. Buffy Silverman also beat Ana Paest with a poo poem.

(Even though I got eliminated, I really enjoyed the tournament and will continue enjoying it till April 2nd! You should too!)

Anyways, after having a friendly twitter chat with Stephen W. Cahill (the MMPoetry 2012 Champion), I got an idea for a poo-based poem.


And so, ladies and gentlemen… I present to you, the Portaloo in Waterloo, with the first couplet written by Stephen W. Cahill!

The Portaloo in Waterloo

At the portaloo in Waterloo,
where pigeons coo and people poo……

The French troops warred against the Brits,
whose Prussian allies had got wits,

The Prussians thought with mighty brains,
"We’ll strike the Frenchies with ‘the pains’."

And so, this tactic they did do:
They stole their ONLY portaloo!

And then, they dropped the final jinx;
Poured laxatives in French troops’ drinks!

On battle day, the French troops fell, because they had no portaloo.
And now you know the story of the portaloo in waterloo!


Hope you liked it! 😀 Cheers!
Gloson “Teh” Poet.

Update (March 20, 2013): Oh my, there’s ANOTHER poop poem!

In the MMPoetry’s battle, 7-jostle vs. 15-euphemism, Susan Taylor Brown (7-jostle) wrote a non-fiction dino poem and Josh J. Close (15-euphemism) wrote a poop poem. There has been a heated poop discussion in the comments. (You should read them!)

Ed DeCaria even made a poop rendition of Susan Taylor Brown’s poem in the comments, which I found pretty amusing.

Previously, Susan Taylor Brown’s amazing poem was leading, but suddenly a group of 4th graders nudged the stupendous poop poem up above, and Josh won by 6 votes. It was an intense battle indeed.

3 Replies to “The Portaloo in Waterloo – A Poem”

  1. Laura Shovan says:

    Gloson, I did not realize how high the poo was piling up in the March Madness competition. There’s another one (just one?) in Round 2. May your portaloo always be nearby!

    1. Gloson says:

      @Ed – Thanks Ed!
      @Laura – Thanks Laura! Yep! There’s a third one in Round Two, written by Josh J. Close, called Say It Like You Mean It. Although I wish I could clone myself and vote for the other one, Josh won my vote because he did real justice to the word “euphemism”. Who knows what poo poem will come next!


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